Big Time Vampire Diaries
by Cwalk
Summary: This story follows the life James Diamond, who falls for a century-old vampire named Kendall Knight. Their lives grow more and more complicated as Kendall's vicious brother Sam returns to town with a vendetta against his brother.


This is my first fanfiction ever rewritten and better than ever! I love Big Time Rush and religiously follow Vampire Diaries. And this may get confusing because, well I've added characters from Big Time Rush, Victorious, Glee and Bones (I just love Bones anyone else ever seen it and can't you see Angela as Isobel or at least James mom?) I had this idea awhile ago and thought it was a good one. I did previously post this but am rewriting and reposting. I am going to try to go episode by episode. I ask that you all go easy on me and please review, it will help me get new chapters out faster. THANKS!

This story follows the life James Diamond, who falls for a century-old vampire named Kendall Knight. Their lives grow more and more complicated as Kendall's vicious brother Sam returns to town with a vendetta against his brother.

Main Characters

Elena Gilbert- James Dylan "Diamond" Booth

Damon Salvatore- Samuel Evan Knight "Sam Evans"

Stefan Salvatore- Kendall Donald Knight

Parker Gilbert- Parker Matthew Booth

Caroline Forbes- Trina Vega

Bonnie Bennett- Carlos Geraldo Garcia

Hortense "Logan" Henry Mitchell

Matt Donovan- Beck Oliver

Tyler Lockwood- Jake Puckerman

Jenna Sommers- Kelly Wainwrigtht (Publisher/Book Agent)

Alaric Stalzman- William Schuester (history teacher, glee club instructor, and vampire hunter)

Isobel Flemming- Angela Pearly-Gates Montenegro (Artist/Forensic Facial Reconstruction and vampire hunter)

John Gilbert- Jared Booth (Military Intelligence and vampire hunter)

Vicki Donovan- Jade West

Katherine Pierce (Katerina Petrova) - Alexander "Alex" Warren (Alexander de Warenne)

*Grayson Gilbert- Seeley Booth (FBI Agent and vampire hunter)

*Miranda Sommers Gilbert- Dr. Temperance Brennan PhD (Forensic Anthropologist and vampire hunter)

**James POV**

_Dear Diary, _

_Today will be different. It has to be. I will smile, and it will be believable. My smile will say, "I'm fine, thank you. Yes, I feel much better." I will no longer be the sad little boy that lost his parents. I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through._

"James! Parker! Get a move on it," Aunt Kelly yelled up the stairs at us. Kelly, not my mom. Kelly isn't really out aunt but when my mom published her first book she was assigned as her agent and hit it off rather well and quickly became best friends and our godmother. Giving my mom's lack of social skills it's quite impressive how close they were. Don't get me wrong my mom was a great mom but she was an utmost scientist. That being mixed together with being abandoned by her parents as a child caused her to be emotionally detached, lacked any knowledge in pop culture, and of course an atheist, the latter always causing conflicts with my parents. My dad was a traditional Catholic but not an ass.

My dad was born and raised in Mystic Falls and after he graduated he became a sniper in the United States Army Rangers. After he retired from that he moved to D.C. and joined the FBI where he met my mom when he went to her for a consultation on a case. Apparently they hated each other at first, dad annoying her with a nickname that stuck ever sense, Bones. After working together for a few years they could no longer deny their feelings for each other and moved in together, mom refusing to marry him because of something about how the institute of marriage and being tied to someone for the rest of your life is not good for evolution or something. Well she moved with him back to Mystic Falls when a position for him opened up in Richmond and started a family.

Despite my mom's emotional detachment issues and dad's macho all American man thing they balanced each other out perfectly and made amazing parents. It's just not the same without them. I mean I know Kelly does her best but she has never been very family oriented, her carrier had always been her baby, and giving the circumstances she has been doing a good job. Not everyone can take to being a parent to two teenage boys, especially when one is Parker.

Parker had always been a good student before the accident. He was a talented artist, boy scout, and got good grades but after our parents death he became severely depressed and started using drugs. The thing that has me the most worried is that he quit drawing, his main outlet in the world.

"I'm coming," I yell back to Kelly, stashing my diary back into its hiding place. I give myself a once over in the mirror making sure I am "back to school perfect" and head down stairs to the kitchen were Kelly is attempting to cook breakfast. Eggs I think or maybe waffles. Saying she isn't really a cook is the understatement of the century. "Eww what is THAT?" I ask pointing to the plate she sits out on the counter.

"Be nice," she scolds, giving me a playful whack with her spatula "It's French toast. You know I'm not very good at this "mom" stuff." Ok I was way off on my guess. "By the way do you know if Parker came home last night? Parker get a move on it!" she yells up the stairs.

"I don't know. I crashed early." I say, picking up a fork full of said French toast and watch as it crumbles/drips off of my fork back to the plate. "I think I'm going to just go with coffee this morning." I go over and pour two cups of coffee. Taking a sip of one I went over to the kitchen door and yell"PARKER! COFFEE!"

I hear shuffling above me and about two seconds later he comes down the stairs two at a time. He grabs the cup from me as he passes and takes a big swig.

"That is how you get a teenager out of bed," I say to Kelly. She just rolls her eyes and throws her sad attempt at breakfast in the garbage. I look over at Parker who is pouring himself a bowl of cereal. His hair was all greasy and his eyes are all puffy with dark circles under them. I walk over and lean on the counter across from him. He takes a large spoonful as he looks up at me.

"What?" he asks, milk spilling out of his mouth. His eyes are totally blood shot. I reach over and grab his face which incidentally causes cereal to spill out of his mouth and on to my hand. "Are you high Parker?"

"None of your business fag," he snaps, shoves my hand way. Before he can react I lung at him and pull him across the counter by the scruff of his shirt.

"I may be gay but I am still your big brother and can kick your ass!"

"Boys! Boys! Stop it!" Kelly yells jumping between us and pushing me off him. "Parker are you ok?"

"I'm fine," he grumbles swinging his backpack over his shoulder and heads out the door, "I'm gonna be late." When the screen door bangs behind him Kelly turns to me with fire in her eyes.

"What the Hell was that?!" she yells.

"I don't know," I groan. I have no idea what went over me. I have never snapped like that before. "I'm just so sick of his "mood"" I air quot. Sighing, I sit down on a stool. "I know acting out is his way of dealing but it's like he doesn't even know that we are going through the same thing." Kelly sits down next to me and spins her coffee cup as we sit there in silence for a minute.

"Jamie," she began rubbing circles on my back "Honestly… Parker isn't the one I am worried about."

"What?" I can't believe what I am hearing right now.

"I know that this is just Parker's way of grieving but you haven't really grieved James," her eyes started to tear up "You just keeping everything inside and," she wasn't able to finish what she was saying because right then Carlos started honking his horn like a mad man to signal he's here.

"That's Carlos. I gotta go," I say as I grab my bag and head to the door. I pause with my hand on the knob, "I'm fine. Really." I leave without giving her a chance to say anything. As soon as I get into the car I am pulled into an over energetic man hug.

"Hey man what's up?!" Carlos says as he releases me "I haven't seen you like all summer!"

"I know man," I say rubbing my now sore neck "But YOU were the one hanging out with your grandma all summer."

"Ya I know," he says scratching the back of his head guiltily "sorry bout that. So how are you?" he asks as he pulls away from my house, "you haven't really texted me back that much."

"I'm doing good," I lie. Carlos must have sensed that I don't want to talk about this because he changes the subject.

"Well I spent my summer with Grams and it was totally insane," he says giving me his goofy Carlos grin.

"Why?"

"So Grams is telling me I'm psychic."

"What?" ok I know Carlos gets some crazy ideas but come on.

"Ya apparently our ancestors were from Salem" he says trying to hide his excitement "witches and all that" I give him a skeptical look, "I know, crazy. But she's going on and on about it and I guess that makes me… like… a witch."

"Aren't witches girls?" I ask skeptically.

"Dude you're totally missing the point," he says "the point is I'm like Harry Potter."

"Harry Potter is fictional."

"Again NOT the point."

"Dude all this sounds crazy." I love Carlos but when he gets some idea in his head he tends to run wild with it. One time in kindergarten we playing we were monkey at recess and he climbed on top of the school and started throwing his lunch at students. The fire department had to be called just to get him down.

"That's not even half of it," he says as we pull into the school parking lot "Grams spent like the whole summer teaching me to read tarot cards and palms." We get out of the car and make our way across the parking lot.

"So you can read my future and stuff?" I ask. Carlos stops and grabs my hand and stares at it intensely before he looks back up and smiles.

"I for see great happiness for you this year," I couldn't help but laugh. God it's good to have a friend like him. He is always able to make me feel better. I know I shouldn't have ignored him this summer.

"Jamie! Carlos!" I turn around just in time to catch Trina as she jumps into my arms and gives me a hug. Trina, likable, loving, annoying, self centered Trina. She has been one of my best friends since third grade when we both found out we both wanted to be Pop Stars. As I grew up my dreams changed but Trina believes her destiny is to entertain the masses. "Oh my god! I haven't seen you guys in forever!"

"Hey Trina," I say setting her down "How was your summer?" We start walking again as she begins telling us.

"I was in Paris with my dad and his boyfriend and my kinda sorta sister away from my mom. My summer was perfect."

"You could have been in a P.O.W camp and you would be happy if you were away from your mom," teases Carlos. Carlos and I both laugh and laugh even harder at Trina's confused looked.

"What is a P.O.W camp?" she asks, "Never mind," cutting off a Carlos who is about to answer. "James how was your summer?" Right there, the question I was dreading. Well sorta, most people would remember that my parents had died and it would be more of a "how are you doing" rather than… well that.

"Dude," Carlos hisses as he whacks Trina's arms giving her a what the fuck look. Recognition spreads over her and she slaps her hand over her mouth.

"I am so soooo sorry Jamie," she whispers shaking her head "I am like the worst friend ever! I was just so excited to see you guys I totally forgot."

"It's ok Trina," I say as I reach my locker "It's actually nice NOT having people talking about it." I start to put stuff away and semi-organize my locker.

"Oh. Ok. So any way," She starts as she checks her hair in the mirror I just hung up.

"Trina," another whack from Carlos "really?"

"What? He said he didn't want to talk about it!"

"Still! Have some sympathy!" I turn them to tell them to knock it off I when I see Parker down the hall by the water fountain talking Jade West. Jade is in my class and a full two years older than Parker. It looks like they are just talking until he hands her something and she pops whatever it is it into her mouth and takes a sip of water. Jade's a known druggy and if Parker's hanging out with her, well me and Kelly's suspicions are confirmed.

"What with that?" Carlos asks following my train of vision. Trina turns around and sees what he is talking about.

"Oh my God you must have been pissed when you found out," she says shaking her head.

"Found out what?" I ask confused.

"You haven't heard?" I shake my head no "Ha I was in France and I heard. Apparently she took his v-card. Oh!" she shrieks looking at her watch "I have to go talk to Mrs. Simms before class starts. Save me a seat!" she yells as she runs off.

"Dude," Carlos says shaking his head in disbelief.

"I don't want to deal with it right now Carlos. Let's just go to class," I say closing my locker a little harder than necessary and begin walking down the hall to history. On our way we pass we pass a tall dark hair boy, my Ex, Beck Oliver.

"Hey Beck," I say giving him the best smile I can offer but he just gives me a hurt glare and closes his locker and walks away.

"He hates me," I say watching Beck go almost hoping he will look back.

"That's not hate," Carlos says pulling me along with him "that's 'You dumped me, but I'm too cool to show it, but secretly I'm listening to Air Supply's _Greatest Hits_.'"

**Kendall's POV**

"I'm sorry Mr. Knight but your records aren't complete," the school secretary states "we can't let you in role unless we have all your records. Perhaps if you give me the name of your last school I can get them for you." This is ridicules, my first day of school and I have already missed two classes. I know I said I wouldn't but I have to do something. I taking off my sunglasses I lean towards her and lock our gaze.

"I am sure if you check again you will find you have all the necessary paper work," I compel. I watch as her pupils' dilate with along with mine. She looks down at the folder again and back up to me with a smile.

"Oh you're right," she says cheerfully, "it is everything." She types on the computer for a minute and prints out a schedule. "Here is your class schedule and locker combination," she reaches under the counter and grabs a slip of paper "and have all your teachers sign this and return it at the end of the day."

"Thank you Mrs. Simms. You have been most helpful," I say taking the schedule and slip. It's nice being here with normal teenagers. Nobody knows I'm different from them, they all just see me as the new guy. And that is totally alright with me, I don't care if I make any friends I just wanted to be back in life. But at the same time I know I shouldn't have come home. I know the risk but I had no choice. I have to know him. Meet him just once at the least.

Lost in my thoughts I'm not really paying attention to where I'm going, totally lost in just absorbing the atmosphere. But maybe if I had been paying attention I might have noticed the girl directly ahead of me.

"Ouch!" says the girl when I knock into her causing both of us to drop our books.

"My upmost apologizes," I say as I bend down to help her pick up our books "I am new here and I am not really sure where I am going."

"Its fine," she says making no attempt to hide her annoyance "Just be more" her eyes grow wide when she finally looks at me, "careful. I'm Trina. Trina Vega."

"Kendall Knight," I say taking the hand she offers, half shaking it in greeting half helping her to her feet. Once we're both standing I looked her over. She's pretty I guess, long curly brown hair, dark eyes, but to flashy for my taste. Don't get me wrong nothing wrong with flashy but not when it looks like your trying too hard.

"It looks like we have history together," she says twisting her hair and giving me a flirty smile.

"Excuse me?" I ask, not quite sure what she means.

"Class," she says "history class." She pulls my schedule off the top of her books and hands it to me "I must have grabbed it by mistake."

"Thanks," I say still not sure of this girl. She seems ok but I don't want to give her the wrong idea.

"Come on," she says linking her arm through mine, "we can walk together." Oh well why not, it's not like I can't get her to back off if I really wanted to. I allow her to lead me through the halls to room 302.

"Miss Vega you know the rules," says the tall black teacher, "And who are you?" he asks looking at me.

"Kendall Knight," I say handing him my slip for him to sign, "I'm new here." He takes the slip from me and gives me a long look over. Finally he looks down at the slip and initials it.

"Knight huh? Any relation to Zach Knight?" he asks handing it back to me.

"My uncle."

"Ah. Well take your seat," he points to an empty seat next to Trina. I take out my history book and note book. I pretend to be getting ready for class just to avoid having to look at Trina who I can tell is watching me, waiting for me to look up to say something. But when I do look up it's not Trina I look at but instead look towards the door.

Oh my God, it's just like the first time I laid eyes on _him_. The gorgeous brunet that walks in was accompanied by a smaller Latino boy who must have just told the punch line of a joke because they both through their heads back in laughter. I swear it's like an angelic choir, all the voices in Heaven combined to make this one perfect laugh on this symbol of perfection. When he brings his head back down his eyes meet mine and he gives me a shy smile before taking his seat diagonally from me.

"All right class," says the teacher "for those of you who are new," looking at me "my name is Mr. Hawk. We are going to start this year off by," I quit listening when the brunet turned to look to me. I pretended not to notice allowing him to check me out real quick before I meet his eyes, making him smile again. God I love that smile.

"Mr. Booth," Mr. Hawk says causing the brunet to jump back around "I know you are probably expecting a lot of sympathy grades this year but not in this class. What was I just talking about?"

"Umm," the boy stutters "uh I don't know sir."

"The Battle of Willow Creek," I answer for him still staring at him even though he's sunk down in his chair "Where the town was left undefended except for a small army of 300 men with the enemy within a day's march." I can feel him glaring at me but I refuse to look away from the brunet "I am a history buff."

"Fine then," Mr. Hawk says "Where did they engage the enemy?"

"The regiment engaged the enemy at Willow Creek. They were driven back across the river until nightfall when fighting subsided and they made camp on the 7th of August, 1776." I look away from the burnet and I lock eyes with Mr. Hawk.

"Where did they make their stand?"

"The remaining troops left camp and moved 3 miles along the river's south bank. They were determined to make a stand near the Braunwarth Mill, a little below the falls where Willow Creek meets the river proper because its right flank could be protected by the high bluffs the battle lasted into the night." Seeing him about to open his mouth to ask another question and having a good idea what it would be I continue, "In the morning the remaining troops retreated into the fortification at Mystic Falls."

"How many casualties?"

"146. Not counting the civilian casualties."

"Wrong," he slams his fist down on his desk triumphantly, "There were no civilian casualties in the Battle of Willow Creek. It is a well documented fact!"

"With all due respect sir," I say as every pair of eyes including Mr. Hawk and the sexy brunet stare at me, "If you look in your book you will see that when the battle commenced the Americans fired upon the Fell's Church because they believed British soldiers were using it as a base. But their source was wrong and they ended up killing 27 civilians. It was known as "a night of great loss.""

Mr. Hawk eyes me menacingly before opening his book. After reading for a moment he looks back up slightly shaking with rage.

"You are correct Mr. Knight," he says through clenched teeth. The whole room burst in applause and the brunet is smiling a great big smile and nodding his head as if saying "right on."

The rest of the morning went by basically uneventful, mostly because none of my other classes are with him. It's funny and totally illogical but I think I am falling head over heels for a guy I haven't even met yet. I don't even know his name. I mean don't get me wrong, putting that jerk in his place and watching some kid role down the stairs in a garbage bag was kind of cool but none of it compared to him.

That Trina girl is a shameless flirt and sadly most of my classes are with her. In Art she volunteered to be my partner, in Drama she told the teacher I would make a great Romeo to her Juliet and even winked at me when she said it, and now in French class she just asked me if I wanted to go to bed with her.

"Excuse me?" I ask totally dumb founded. Is she honestly offering herself to me?

"Ha-ha as in the song," she asks giving me a totally what the fuck look, "You know? Lady Marmalade?"

"I'm sorry. No," even as pathetic as she has been acting I do have to feel sort of bad for the girl. It's not her fault I don't swing that way.

"Oh. Okay then," she says turning in her seat. But as she does an idea pops into my head, even though she is sort of annoying she may know that boy. God I am going to hate myself for this.

"Hey Trina?"

"Yeah?" she asks turning back around.

"Do you know that boy in Mr. Hawks's class?" I ask, compelling her as soon as we lock eyes, "The one who came in with that Latino boy?" I took a shot that there are not that many Latino's in Mystic Falls.

"Yeah that's James Diamond," she answers automatically, "His last name actually Booth but in Junior High he decided Diamond would be a cooler last name when he is famous. He's one of my absolute best friends."

"What can you tell me about him?" yes I know it's wrong to use my powers for this but I have to know.

"Well apparently the rumor that all hot guys are gay is totally true," score! I have to restrain myself from punching the air, "Yeah like if it's not bad enough that he is going to go for boys he didn't have to take Beck with him." She says resentfully. Okay this could be a problem.

"Beck?" I ask not sure if I want to hear the answer.

"Yeah James' ex boyfriend," she explains. I exhale a breath I didn't know I was holding in. "I mean they were _totally_ cute together but why did two of the hottest boys in school have to be gay. Well I mean I guess Beck isn't gay. He says he is Bi or Jamessexual since James is like the only boy he has ever even liked in that way." But James is available so that's all I care about.

"So their broken up for sure?" better not take any chances.

"Yep James broke up with Beck right after the accident. Totally broke Beck's heart and all."

"That really changed him didn't it?" Stupid question I know but I need to know all I can.

"Totally," she says "After the accident he quit the hockey team and dropped out of cheer and the glee club. Which is so totally sad cus he has like the most _amazing_ voice ever!" Ha-ha he looks like an angel so it shouldn't be a surprise he has the voice of one. "He used to be all like superficial and stuff but it was like a switch just flipped or something. He didn't really talk to anyone all summer, just kept mostly to himself. It's like he is in a fog or something, in his own little world. You know?"

"Yeah I think I understand," wow this girls uses "something" and "like" way too much "Thank you Trina." I stood up to leave and as I am gathering my things I remember, "Oh and Trina…"

"Yeah?"

"You will forget this conversation ever happened," I compel.

"I will forget this conversation ever happened." Good I really don't need her going and telling James I'm asking about him. When I get to the door when Trina come back to reality.

"Hey Kendall," she says quickly gathering her things and rushing over to me. Damn I should have also told her to leave me alone.

"Yeah?"

"I am about to head to lunch," she says gesturing over her shoulder down the hall with her thumb, "Do you wanna join me?" Now this was hard, one the one hand James would probably be there but on the other so would Trina. I am sure she is a nice girl but this flirting thing is getting on my nerves.

"Umm No. No Thank you," I say seeing the disappointment in her face, "I need to go do something in the library."

"Oh okay," she says starting to walk away, "Maybe some other time then."

"Yeah sounds good," I say walking away quickly before she can say anything else. Okay so since I don't technically _have_ to eat and since I told Trina I had to go to the library I decided I might as well just go and waste time until lunch is over.

The school's library is actually larger than I thought it would be. A person could just wonder the rows of books and not be bothered. I spend about thirty minutes looking at random books, most of which I have read, Gone With the Wind, Sense and Sensibility, Great Expectations, and of course the Genus book of World Records. Ok I may have been born in a more classical time but I am still a teenage guy.

I walk over to the window which has a perfect view of the quad. It seems like that is the place to eat lunch. I mean everyone was there. The cheerleaders making fun of some kid, which is really mean, the football players tossing the ol' pig skin around, a small group of kids break dancing, and over by the fountain is James sitting with the Latino boy and a brunet boy I hadn't seen before reading a textbook. Thank God for vampire hearing.

"So are you going to take cheer up again?" the Latino asks taking a bit of his corndog.

"I don't know Carlos," says James taking a bite of his salad, "I think I just want to focus on school this year." This must have been shocking because Carlos spit out the bit just took. The look on his face with chewed up corndog falling out of his mouth made me laugh.

"Dude!" proclaims Carlos "you have to do cheer! You're like the _best_ flier they have! No one else can do a Russian followed by a quadruple back flip!" Note to self: extremely flexible. Good to know. Very good to know.

"Yeah that's what everyone is telling me today," James says bitterly.

"I think it's a good idea if James focuses on school this year," says the other boy looking up from his textbook, "we're juniors this year and college is right around the corner. James should focus on his GPA."

"Thanks Logan," James says.

"But the squad is gonna suck without you! I can understand quitting glee, it's stupid. But cheer?" Carlos says taking a new bit of his corndog. I think I actually see five corndog stick sitting on his tray. "You're good. You know you are."

"Yeah but you forget that Trina is the team captain this year," James says taking another bit. Why am I not surprised she is the cheerleading captain? It was almost like she was summoned because right then I notice Trina running across the quad to them.

"Guys! Guys!" she yells ecstatically running over to them, jumping over a bench and sliding in next to Carlos, "ok so it took like _all_ morning but I got the scoop on that yummylishes new boy." I am going to go out on a limb here and assume she is talking about me. "Ooo are you going to finish that?" she asks pointing to James' salad who slid it over.

"You mean that boy who one upped Hawk?" Carlos asks.

"What?" asks Logan looking up again, far more interested this time.

"Yeah," Trina says through a mouthful of salad "He was being super mean to James and the kid got in a history trivia thing with Hawk and won! It was like OMG. Anyways I talked to him like _all_ morning but all he told me is that his name is Kendall Knight. Like not talkative at all."

"Soo you just know his name?" James asks skeptically. Ok he is cute when he does that whole one eye brow thing.

"Well after French class I got one of those A.V. nerds to hack into the school computers and pull up his info and there wasn't much else there either." Trina answers taking one last huge bit of James' salad.

"Trina that is against the rule," Logan chastises looking shocked, "and illegal." Trina just brushes it off with a "whatever."

"What do you find out?" asks James drinking his soda.

"Not much was their either. Basically says is he is from Minnesota and he lives with his uncle Zach. You know the guy who runs the Knight Boarding House?"

"Yeah we know," James says taking back the empty salad container and handing Trina his soda. He's more generous to Trina than I would imagine possible, "and there was nothing else?"

"Thanks," Trina says taking a drink of James soda and handing it back "Not a thing. No previous school, no parents, no immunizations, no birthday, not a single record." Shit. This could be bad.

"Weird," says Carlos, "Corndog?" he offers her the last bit of his.

"Eww! NO!" Trina says throwing her hands up so there is no possible chance of it touching her, "do you know how many calories are in that?"

"460," says Logan, "and 60 grams of carbohydrates."

"And yet their soooo good," says Carlos eating the last half in one bit. Trina gives him an extremely disgusted look before standing up and grabbing James fore arm.

"Come on Jamie," she says pulling him up and towards the school "Let's go freshen up our makeup." I guess I have ease dropped enough plus with James leaving the quad I don't really have any reason staying so I head off in search of my next class.

**Carlos' POV**

I watch my two of best friends walk off, leaving me alone with Logan. Logan and I are cool but he is a total nerd. His mom, Dr. Joanna Mitchell, is the towns doctor and he has always planned to follow in her footsteps. Logan's mom did her residency in Dallas, Texas where she had an affair with the Chief of Surgery there and got pregnant with Logan. When she was finished with her residency the two of them moved back to Mystic Falls when he was eight and next door to me and we became fast friends along with James.

I think James is the only boy I have ever met that wears blush and eyeliner. I mean I love James. He's been my boy sense we were three but sometimes it would be nice just to go out and be dude and not have to worry about messing up his hair. He is so anal about that. And Trina!

When we first met we hated each other with a passion but over the years we just got used to one another and by the time freshman year came around we realized we had somehow become friends. I love her just like I love James and Logan but everything, and I do mean everything is drama. To her all our lives revolve around her and her life. And the irony, if you can call it that, over the summer all our lives have changed except for hers.

When James parents died it really made me stop and think just how important family actually is. You see my mom ran out right after I was born and since then it's been mostly been just me and dad. All his family is in Arizona and the only other family I have in Mystic Falls is my mom's mother and before this summer I only ever saw her at thanksgiving. After James' parents died and with my dad's increase of work schedule with it being summer and all I decided to reach out.

It was about my third visit that she brought up the subject of her family and about the fifth that she told me about our, uh, "interesting" family history. Truthfully I thought she was crazy but for the sake of family I kept visiting her. She started teaching me what she called the basics and that was mostly palm reading and tarot cards. The card thing is confusing, like each card means something but if it's next to this card it means something different _and _if it's next to that card in a totally different layout then it means something entirely different too. My point is it's all really confusing.

Thinking about all this stuff is just confusing and that leads to frustrating to the point I can feel the frustration building. Oh man I don't know what's going on, all this emotion is just adding up and till a "damn" is released and then…

Everything on the table is blown off with great force. I notice the people at the tables' closets to me are looking my way, so I grab my bag and run off. Once I round the corner I stop and catch my breath. I have no idea what the hell just happened. There was no wind before or after. The only thing I can think of is that feeling is like what Grams told me about. So maybe, just maybe…

There are some fallen leaves on the stone wall next to me and, well, what the hell? I hold my hand over one of the leaves and I concentrate on that feeling. I feel that build again but this time I let it flow throw me and let it become like an extension of me so I can tell it what to do. And if on cue the leaf levitates a couple of inches off the wall. Holy Shit! I didn't expect it to actually work! I take off before anyone sees.

**James' POV**

_Dear Diary, I made it through the day. I must have said "I'm fine, thanks" at least 37 times. And I didn't mean it once. But no one noticed. When someone asks "How are you?" they really don't want an answer._

_Caw_! _Caw_! _Caw_! Stupid crow scares me half to death! But what can you expect when you are sitting alone, in a graveyard, next to your parents grave. Yeah I guess I should have seen the crow thing coming.

"Go away," I shoo, making him fly off into the trees. Looking over at my parent's grave I feel another stab of guilt spread through me. I guess I come here more so waiting for them to say they forgive me rather than because I miss them. I mean I do miss them, I still cry myself to sleep most nights because I miss them so much. But when I am here at their actual graves I can't really miss them. I know it sounds weird but when I am here I just feel guilt because, I don't know, this makes it real?

If they crow wasn't creepy enough a thick fog suddenly roles in. It engulfed the whole cemetery so I could just make out the outlines of the trees. I quickly put my diary back into my bag and stand to leave when I hear a snap behind me. I turn around but I don't see anything and then there is another sound behind me so I quickly swirl back around. I was already getting kind of crept out when I hear another sound behind me. I turn around once more and see the faint outline of a man.

"Hello?" I call to him hoping it was Beck or something because he was way too tall to be Carlos. The man didn't call back but instead he slowly starts towards me. I don't know why but a voice in my head told me to get the hell out of there. So I turn around and book it back across the cemetery. I don't know if its imagination or what but I swear that that something is running on one side of me and then the other. I turned my head to look behind me to see if I could see who or what was chasing me but before I could even look I slammed into something. Hard. I fell backwards and somehow ended up flat on my face. I must have tumbled over myself or something.

"Are you alright?" someone asks. I lift my head up and see a pair of shoes, what do you expect when you are looking at someone's feet? Push myself up onto my knees and look up and see the new kid.

"Ah yeah," I say, "there was," but when I looked back I didn't see anything. In fact I didn't see _anything_. No animal, no person, and… no fog?

"There was what?" he asks offering me his hand. Ok I may never have been a straight A student but I know that fog doesn't just disappear.

"Umm nothing," I say taking his hand and allowing him to help me up, "never mind. I'm James."

"Kendall," he says shaking my hand which was still in his.

"I know. We have history together," instantly I mentally slap myself. That's got to be the cheesiest pick up line and I just inadvertently used it. Wait was Kendall laughing?

"Trina tried that line earlier," Kendall says, great now he thinks I am as pushy as Trina, just great. "But it's much cuter coming from you," he winks. Did he just call me cute? Before I can reply his grip on my hand got tighter which makes me realize he is still holding my hand. I am about to complain when he pushes my hand way and turns around. "Did you hurt yourself when you fell?"

Thinking about it I notice that my forearm does hurt a little and when I look I see that I did cut myself.

"Yeah I guess I did. It's just a little scratch," for some reason Kendall has become very stiff, "are you okay?" I ask. I could have sworn I saw his face change right before he turned around. I grab his shoulder to turn him around but he shakes me off.

"I'm fine," he says coldly, "you should go."

"What?" is this guy really telling me to leave? Does he not realize we are in a public cemetery? The key word here being public.

"I said GO!" he yells. Something in his voice unnerves me so I quickly gather my stuff that fell out of my bag when I fell and take off.

**Kendall's POV**

I wait until I hear his footsteps on the sidewalk before I dare turn to watch him go. I am about to leave when I notice a leather bound note book lying a couple of feet away. It looks like a diary. I pick it up and I can instantly smell him on it. Oh he has a great smell, it's almost orgasmic, no joke.

Since he stirred my appetite I do a quick hunting trip before heading back to the Boarding House. A fox and two rabbits later I arrive home and head up to my room. My room isn't like your normal teenage room, sure I have a stereo and a hockey stick, I did live in Minnesota, but most of the stuff you would see in your grandparent's house. Scattered around the room are momentums from my immortal life. I sit down at my desk and set James' diary down then I open up my own.

_I lost control today _I write. _Everything I've kept buried inside came rushing to the surface. I'm simply not able to resist him._

_Caw_! I look up to find the same crow from the cemetery sitting on my open window. I should have figured this would happen. He always comes back when I do.

"Crows a bit much, don't you think?" I ask turning around to find my brother lounging in an arm chair that was unoccupied a second before. His blonde hair was cut shorter than the last time I had seen him but it's neatly combed. He was wearing a dark blue plaid shirt under a black leather jacket, dark jeans, and leather boots.

"Wait 'til you see what I can do with fog," Sam says standing up and making his way over to me "Don't I get a hug baby brother?"

"We've never been a hugging family," I say coldly, putting away my journal.

"But it's been fifteen years. That's the longest we have ever been apart," he says sitting on the edge of my desk.

"You mean it's the longest you have ever left me alone," I say leaning back in my chair to look up at him. Sam loves playing games with me, it's become the joy of his immortal life.

"Yeah well I have been preoccupied with other things," he says aimlessly looking through the stuff on top of my desk.

"Care to share?" I ask knowing my brother is always up to something and wanting to know what would have kept him out of my hair for so long.

"Nope," he says, popping the p, before standing up and going over to my bookcase where he starts rummaging through my collection, "nothing you need to know about just yet baby brother."

"Don't call me that," I say standing up and going over to him. I take the book away and replace it on the shelf.

"But why not?" he teases walking back over to my desk, "You're my good, sweet, innocent, lovable _baby_ brother." He opens the middle drawer and takes something out. "He took my breath away you know. James," he says holding up the miniature signed and dated _Alexander 1776_. The miniature was of a young man with long chestnut hair tied in a ponytail and with hazel eyes wearing a dark blue velvet suit that looks exactly like James. "He's a dead ringer for Alexander. Is it working Kendall? Being around him? Being in his world? Does it make you feel alive?" He smirks his stupid cocky all knowing smile at me.

"He's not Alexander," I say on the verge of snapping, taking the miniature and putting it back in the drawer.

"Well let's hope not," he says "we both remember how that ended. Well either way I am sure he is delicious." That pushes me over the edge. I let the vampire side of me take over and I pin him against the wall. I know it's a mistake because a second later he flips us around and throws me onto the floor before picking me up and throwing me out the window.

I land hard on the ground, the broken window cutting into me. Sam jumps down and lands effortlessly on the lawn. He walks over to me, looking rather pissed. "You should know better than to think you're stronger than me. You lost that fight when you stopped feeding on people. I wouldn't try it again," he says tossing me back my ring before walking back up to the house. I hadn't even noticed he had taken it. He was simply showing me how easy it would be for him to beat me. I quickly go to find Zach to inform him about the Sam situation. He must have already passed Sam because he was coming out of the house just as I'm about to go in.

"We have a situation," I say continuing down the stairs and into the living room with him on my heals.

"I know," he says "I told you it was a bad idea for you to come back Kendall." God not this again.

"I hadn't seen him in fifteen years Zach," I say defending myself "I didn't know he was still keeping tabs on me."

"You know better Kendall," he says "He won't let either of us have any sort of normal life." It's pathetic that Zach knows Sam better than I do. "Kendall I know you want a normal life and that you can't change who you are. But you don't belong here anymore." Not this same subject again.

"Then where do I belong?" I ask turning to face him. I sort of wish he would have an answer. "I've got to go," I say leaving him there.

**James' POV**

It has been the longest first day I can remember and it's not about to end. Jake Puckerman's having a big back to school party at his place and Carlos and Trina were dragging me and Logan there against our wills. Carlos was saying it was time we regain our titles of Party Kings of Mystic Falls High and Trina… well Trina just wanted her groupies.

"What about this one?" Trina asks holding up a black top. Considering it for a second I shook my head no.

"Okay I am not liking my hair tonight," I say checking myself out in the mirror "I think I am going to bandana it."

"But they you can't wear your purple jacket," Trina points out.

"You're right," I say quickly over thinking my options, "What if I wear sunglasses to push my hair back?"

"James it's night so no," Trina says pulling on a pair of bedazzled jeans "How bout your maroon shirt and that grey vest. You know the ones with those strap things in the front? "

"Good idea Trina," I say changing shirts and pulling the vest on.

"God I am glad I am not a girl," says Carlos to Logan who are lying on my bed reading some magazines, "Or gay," he adds as an afterthought. I throw my comb at him and hitting him in the forehead with it.

"Well I am sorry we aren't all hot Latino's who can just throw on a white shirt and vest and call it good," I say retrieving my comb.

"James," he says "you're not my type man."

"Guys do I really have to go?" whines Logan who is dressed in a light grey button up shirt, open vest, and tie.

"If I have to you have to," I say giving him a _don't fucking argue with me on this_ question.

"But I have a Calculus test I need to study for," he protests.

"Is it this week?" I ask.

"No," he mumbles.

"Then you're going," I say ending the conversation.

"Damn I look good," Trina says totally oblivious to us. I hear the front door open and close down stairs signaling Kelly's return from work. I figure I should go fill her in on the plans for the nigh

"Fifteen minutes guys," I tell them as I head down stairs. When I get to the kitchen Kelly's already putting the groceries away, currently working on the canned soups. I love Kelly and all but she is so anal about how things are put in the cupboards. "Hey Kelly," I say as I jump up onto the counter next to her.

"Hey Jamie," she says "How was school?" Hmm what to tell her about first? Parker screwing Jade? New boy showing up Hawk? Or maybe just the new boy?

"Eh it was ok," when in doubt stick to the classic answer, "Couch Sylvester cornered me today and basically told me I rejoin the Cheerios or die. The gang's are up stairs."

"Oh," she says genially surprised "I haven't seen either of them all summer. How are they?"

"Good," I say snagging a grape from the bag of them she just set on the counter, "Trina was in Paris all summer and Carlos with his grandma."

"Well good for them. What are you guys doing tonight?" she asks.

"Jake is actually having a back to school party and we're going." I say watching as Kelly wads up the last plastic bag and toss it away.

"Well that should be fun," she says leaning against the counter across from me "but I want you home by eleven thirty and."

"And what?" I groan. The "and" is never good.

"And you're on Parker watch tonight." Parker watch?!

"Kelly! Come on," I complain, "I actually want to have fun tonight. I am not going to follow him around all night."

"I guess Parker watch was the wrong thing to say," she says "Just make sure he comes home with you. Okay?" The doorbell interrupted any furthering argument.

"Fine," I say jumping off the counter and going to get the door. Okay I'm not really in the party mood so watching Parker isn't that much trouble but still. I mean I am a teenager myself and I don't want to have to babysit him.

I open the door to find Kendall waiting patiently on the other side. God he's hot, he even makes big eyebrows hot. "Kendall," I say stepping onto the porch and closing the door softly behind me, "what are you doing here? At my house? That I never told you where it is?" Okay has hot as he is I pray to God he isn't a stalker.

"I asked around," he says shrugging his shoulders, "I'm not stalking you I promise." ok so he is a mind reader, "I just wanted to return this." He holds up my diary which I had no idea I'd lost. I quickly snatch it back. My heart is racing because this guy who I am kind of crushing on just read my innermost secrets. Shit.

"Don't worry," he says as if sensing my panic "I didn't read it."

"No?" Ok this I can't believe, "Why not? Most people would have."

"Well I wouldn't want anyone reading mine," he says simply.

"You keep a journal?" This guy is perfect. I am his, he can have me.

"Yeah," he replies, "if I don't write it down, I forget it. Memories are too important." Take me. Dear God please don't let me have said that out load. "Are you going out?" he asks eying me up and down. Yeah I feel naked.

"Yeah Jake Puckerman is having a party at the Falls so Trina, Logan, Carlos, and I are going," I tell him. I'm not entirely sure but I think his clothes are different then they were earlier. He was wearing a white t-shirt with a couple of wings on them and a black blazer. Yep they were different. Now I am sure. But a great idea pops into my head right now. "Do you want to come?" I wouldn't be surprised if this is exactly what he wanted when he showed up because his smile said he just won.

"I would love to," he says.

"Okay," I can just feel myself smiling like an idiot "We're about to go. So do you want to just ride with us or?"

"Actually I will meet you there," he says leaving me a little disappointed "I have a couple of things to do first."

"Okay," I say as he offers me a smile and walks back to his car.

**Parker's POV**

Thank God for alcohol otherwise this party would be _laaame_! I love drinking and taking any drug I can get my hands on. After my parents died I turned to them to block out the pain but then one night I met Jade.

Jade and I met at some party in the middle of summer and after we were totally wasted we hooked up. I know it's stupid falling for the girl you had your first time with but Jade was different than any other girl. She spoke her mind and didn't give a shit. God it's funny. I started drugs to stop feeling, I meet a girl who brings them all back up, and now I do even more drugs to try to forget her because she is stuck on Jake.

I think every student from school is here. The guys are messing around or trying to get laid and the girls are trying to make the guys want to get laid. It's a stupid cycle really. I have spent about a half hour looking for her before I finally spotted her over by the DJ talking with Jake. God I hate that douche.

"Come on Jade," Jake says, his words slurring, "I totally need you right now."

"No Jake," Jade says pushing him away, "I done with you."

"Wow. Jade West says no. That's a first," Jake says. God I want to punch his fucking face in!

"You might have thought about it before you pretended like I don't exist," she spits back. Go Jade, tell him whose boss.

"But I was with my parents Jade," he defends "They are so fucking critical. I was trying to protect you."

"I can handle critical Jake," she says crossing her arms.

"Yeah I know. But you tend to."

"Tend to what?" she says cutting him off

"You can be rude Jade," he says "But that's what I like about you!" he says seeing he is about to be in deep shit. "Come on Jade. You know it's true." Oh no Jade's believing this shit, I can see it.

"Meet me in the woods in twenty minutes," she says taking his beer and walking off. As she walks by me I grab her and pull her to the side.

"What the hell was that?!" I ask totally shocked that she actually fell for his half ass lies.

"What?" she asks.

"That running back to Jake shit," I say practically yelling, "He barely even apologizes and you forgive him!"

"Hey you don't have right to say anything Parker," she says "you're no better."

"I am not the same as him," I say angry that she would even imply that we are alike.

"Yes you are Parker," she says looking around to make sure no one is listening, "all you want from me is one thing."

"That's not true," I say "I really like you Jade."

"No you like what we do when we are together." She says "especially when we are drunk."

"I'm drunk now," I say "am I throwing myself at you?"

"No," she says "you're doing worse. You wanna talk to me, get to know me, see into my soul and screw, and screw, and screw until you're done with me."

"Is that what you think?" I ask hurt that she thinks I'm just another douche,

"That's what I know," she says simply and walks away.

**Kendall's POV**

When I arrive at the Falls the party is already in full swing. Do teenagers still say that? Oh well. I try to find James but with a lot of people here it may prove to be more difficult then I first thought. I try locating his scent but the smell of booze and sweat and…. Sex? Yup these teenagers are already getting busy in the woods and the breeze is bringing it back over here. But anyway it makes it a little harder to pinpoint him. And as luck or bad luck would have it first, who found me first before I got over to James?

"Kendall you made it!" Trina exclaims looping her arm threw mine and leading me over to the drink table.

"Yeah but it took me a little longer to get here then I had expected," I say, spotting James standing next to Carlos and Logan a little ways off. The truth being I actually thought it would be a good idea if I hunted first so I wouldn't risk ripping James' throat out.

"Well the important thing is your hear now," she says grabbing two drinks and handing one to me.

"No thank you," I say "I don't drink." This must have hit her as extremely funny because she started laughing and it took a couple seconds before she quieted down.

"You're serious," she says, not a question.

"Never took a liking to it," I shrug it off. When I look back over to James he's talking to that Beck kid. I will admit it I'm a bit jealous because Beck is just about as good looking as James but not quite. Trina follows my gaze.

"Aren't they perfect for each other?" she asks sipping her drink, "I have no doubt they will get back together."

"Really?" I ask. That would totally suck for me.

"Yup," she says checking me out, "you got a girl friend?" Shit. Well might as well go with the band aid affect.

"Nope," I say and seeing the hope build in her eyes I add "I'm gay." And her face fell in total disbelief.

"You're joking," she says "please tell me you're joking."

"Sorry," I say simply.

"Great another total hottie is gay," she says before she walks away. I do feel bad for her. I mean I should have just told her straight up this morning. I see Beck walk away and I make my way over to James. He looks over and smiles when he sees me.

"Hey," he says "you made it."

"Yep," I say. I love how his eyes just sparkle when he smiles. The most beautiful hazel eyes ever.

"This is my friend Logan," he says introducing me to the other boy.

"Hey," he says looking nervous. I figure he isn't a party type.

"How's it going?" I respond and before either of us could say anything Carlos comes back caring three Pepsis.

"Sup man," he says to me as he half tosses half hands James and Logan the soda.

"Not much," I respond gazing into those perfect hazel orbs. Carlos's smile slowly fades as he sees the way we are looking at each other.

"Right," Logan says carefully considering me, "me and Carlos are go get some s'more." As they are leaving Carlos pats me on the back and freezes. His face goes blank and then he looks worried and surprised.

"I'll be right over there if you need me," he says to James "Right over there," to me.

"Got it," James says. Logan pats James on the shoulder as he goes with Carlos behind him but the Latino stops and looks at James and then at me before he leaves.

"I like them," I say "they seems like good friends."

"Best friends in the world," he says looking over at the bonfire where Logan and Carlos are watching us.

"And Beck seems like he can't take his eyes off of us," I nodded over at him who is watching us intently looking like a puppy that's just been kicked.

"Beck's that friend since childhood that you start dating because you owe it to yourselves to see if you can be more," he explains.

"And?" I ask unable to help myself.

"And then my parents died," he says "and everything changed. Anyway, Beck and I together, it just, I don't know, it wasn't, um, It wasn't…"

"Passionate," I finish for him.

"No," he says surprised "no, it wasn't passionate." He looks me over really considering me for a minute, "Let's go for a walk."

**Jade's POV**

As much as I hate to admit it Parker is right. I forgave Jake way too easily and just look where it got me. Alone in the middle of the woods waiting for some jack who just wants a quick fuck. I should know by now not to believe him but honestly, he's rich and I guess a part of me hopes one day he will fall in love with me and take me out of my stupid life.

I hear something behind and turn to investigate. I see a man standing off in the trees.

"Jake?" I call to him, "Parker?" I try when he doesn't answer. In a split second the guy who is neither Jake nor Parker is right in front of me and he bits my neck.

**Kendall's POV**

James and I ended up on the bridge just talking about nothing in general, just getting to know each other. So far I have learned he lives with his Aunt Kelly who isn't really his aunt, he has a younger brother who has kind of gone off the deep end, he used to be in the church choir until he came out, and his dad was an ex-army ranger and taught him how to throw knives, he has been to Central America when his mom went down to identify victims of genocide and surprisingly he is a secret bookworm. I told him I had an original signed copy of _Wuthering Heights_ but he didn't believe me so I told him I'd bring it to school to show him. I just can't get passed how much they look alike and how different they are.

"I hear through the grapevine that you're into hockey and cheerleading," I say leaning next to him on the rail.

"Was," he says "not anymore."

"Why not?" I ask honestly curious.

"Honestly," he says and I nodded _yeah_ "God I haven't told this to anybody before. It was never really my thing. I mean I am good and all but I more or less did hockey for my dad. We sorta bonded over it. Even though he still loved me he took it kinda hard when I came out so hockey was sorta our thing, you know? And I did cheerleading was a way for me to keep in shape during the off season and gave me a chance to perform. Now that he's gone I just don't really see any point to keep doing it." I nod to show I understand. God he has been through so much and I just want to do something, anything to make him feel better.

"James," I say moving to stand in front of him "I know people tell you this all the time but you won't be sad forever." I slowly bring my hand up and gently caress his check causing him to gasp. He nuzzles into my hand as I bring him closer so our foreheads are pressed together. I rub our noses ever so softly against one another. This was it the moment I had been waiting for.

"Kendall," he whispers "I can't." When he pushes me away I see the tears building up in his eyes, "I'm sorry."

"It's ok," I say. Yeah sure I was disappointed but I wasn't going to be an ass and make him do something he wasn't ready for. I wipe a small tear from the corner of his eye giving him a reassuring smile when something behind us catches my eye. I look up and about three hundred yards away on the northern bank of the river is Sam. He's just standing there watching us, watching James. Then he was gone. "I have to go," I say rushing off to go after Sam.

**James' POV**

I can't believe he left just like that. I mean one minute we were about to kiss and I wanted to. I really wanted to. It felt so right but if I had I would have opened myself up for him to hurt me. I said no to protect my heart but ended up getting hurt because I said no. I had him pegged all wrong. I didn't think he was like Jake who just uses girls for sex then leaves them. As soon as Kendall didn't get what he wanted he ran off.

Before I can think about this anymore I see Parker goimg into the woods alone. Okay I know the woods are a place to hook up and all but why is he going in there alone? I follow him in about 200 yards before I catch up to him.

"Parker," I yell running to get to him. He turns around and gives me such a dirty look. "What are you doing out here?"

"Nothing James," he says "just go back to the party."

"Parker," I say taking a step closer, "talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about," he says. I am about to reply when we both hear a moan coming from behind a tree."

"What's that?" I ask walking over to check it out.

"Probably just a couple hooking up," he says following me. We walked around and on the other side was Jade, unconscious and bloody. "Oh my God Jade!" Parker yells kneeling down to her.

"Is she breathing?" I ask getting down on my knees next to Parker. She was bleeding from a large wound in her neck.

"Yeah," Parker says picking her up, "we got to get her back."

**Kendall' POV**

I search the party for Sam but he isn't here. I should go and find James and apologize for running off after our almost kiss and make sure he was ok. By that I mean make sure he wasn't with Sam. I was about to go look for him when he and another boy came running back across the bridge.

"Help! Help!" they were yelling. It was then I notice that the other boy is caring a limp body. Everyone stopped whatever they were doing and looked up and made a space for them to get through.

"Call an ambulance," James yells "Jades been attacked." Shit. Sam. Everyone was in an up roar. Lots of people had their phones out. Beck and Jake rushed over to the table they laid her on just as she became concise.

"Jade. Jade," Beck says trying to get her to focus "who did this to you." Jade's eyes somehow found me.

"Vampire!" she screeched as she pointed to me. Luckily I was able to get away before anyone was able to see where she was pointing.

**Carlos' POV**

My God, what a night. First I have a vision, or more a sense of death when I touch James and then Jade is attacked by what she said was a vampire. After the ambulance got there and took Jade to the hospital I took James and Parker home, drop off Logan, and then Trina and I went to the Mystic Grill for something to eat. Trina had been depressed all night and being a good friend I decided to give her someone to talk to.

"Okay Trina what's up?" I ask.

"Gay," she says, that was easy, "he's gay!"

"Yes Trina we all know James is gay," I say hoping she wasn't really this dumb.

"Not James you idiot," she snaps "Kendall. How come he didn't go for me?"

"You really don't get this whole gay concept do you," I say causing her to shoot me a nasty look.

"How come the guys that I want never want me?" she asks hopelessly.

"I'm not touching that."

"I'm inappropriate, always say the wrong thing. And James always says the right thing. He doesn't even try… and he just picks him. And he's always the one that _everyone_ picks, for everything. And I try _so hard_… and I'm never the one."

"It's not a competition, Trina," I say reaching across the table to grab her hand.

"Yeah, it is," she says bitterly.

"It's late," I say "How bout I buy?" I say standing up to go pay for our meals. Oh Trina.

**James' POV**

I got Parker back home and made sure he was asleep before I let myself relax for the night. Last thing I need is for him to sneak out and get into trouble. I go to my room and take out my diary from its hiding place behind the picture above my bed and I start to write.

_Dear Diary, _

_I couldn't have been more wrong. I thought that I could smile and nod my way through it, pretend like it would all be okay._

**Kendall's POV**

_I had a plan. I wanted to change who I was, create a life as someone new, someone without the past. Someone alive._

**James' POV**

_Without the pain. Someone alive. But it's not that easy. Bad things stay with you._

**Kendall's POV**

_They follow you. You can't escape them - as much as you want to._

**James' POV**

_All you can do is be ready for the good, so when it comes, you invite it in. Because you need it. I need it._

Hearing Kelly down stairs I stash my diary away and go down. I fill Kelly in on what happened… all of it. Kendall, Parker, and what happened with Jade. I was about to head up the stairs when the door bell rang.

"I got it," I yell to Kelly before opening the door to find the boy who had run away after I told him I couldn't kiss him. He was just standing there with his hands in his pockets looking very apologetic.

"Hey," he says. Really?

"Hey," say stepping out onto the porch, "I'm not going to invite you in." he laughs at this, this boy is strange.

"That's totally okay," he says "I just wanted to make sure you were okay and to apologize for, well you know."

"I usually have to give a blow job before a guy gets scared and runs away," I say making him give me a one eyebrow look. God I love that look! "I am a slutty drunk." I say nonchalantly "that's one of the reasons I don't drink anymore."

"Ah," he says walking over to the railing, "listen I didn't mean for it to seem like I only wanted one thing James."

"You didn't?" I ask going over and leaning on the railing next to him.

"No."

"Then why did you?" I ask. Am I really considering giving him another chance?

"Family thing came up," he says "It's complicated. But James listen," he says moving to stand in front of me. Wow this is familiar. "This is crazy but I like you," he says "I like you more than I should because I just met you. And I know you like me and I would like to prove it to you by taking you on a proper date. And if you're not ready that's fine because I will wait James. Because I think we could have something that could be worth the wait." Oh my God. He just stole my heart. That may have been the most romantic thing any guy has ever said to me.

"Kiss me," I say.

"What?" he asks confused. To reply I pull his head to mine and kiss him. The kiss set off a million sparks. I felt him flowing into me as I flowed into him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, deepening the kiss. I weave my fingers threw his blond hair and just as I felt his tongue asking for entrance I pull away leaving him dazed. Hell I was dazed. I chuckle seeing his hazel eyes all glazed over.

"Good night Kendall," I say as I walk away and into the house leaving him standing on the porch. I go up to my room and lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. I gently caress my fingers gently over my lips. They were still tingling.

Ok guys what do you think? Do I have a hit?! God it took FOREVER to write but I love that I got it so long! 29 pages! Go me! But I honestly have a new respect for every single fanficiton writer. It's a lot harder than it looks. Please review!

P.S. I hope I haven't disappointed anyone


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